Thursday, May 14, 2009
FECKLESS THE CAT MEETS DROSS, SPOKE AND BLUDGE IN SACRAMENTO
Feckless and Pre-Approved, the thieving cats, were at the 24-hour money laundry in downtown Sacramento, California. It was a nice, quiet, well-run shack in the shade.
They were there to sanitize currencies they ripped off in Europe. It was something they knew like the back of their scheming paws, Anvil the dog sometimes said between happy canine pants.
Pre-Approved Cat stepped up to the counter. Hot Air Hamster was working the desk today.
"Hey, Hot Air! I think we'll start with these hundreds and thousands from France. Let's clean them up, get a couple hundred thousand American bills, okay? Oh, and throw in a few forged municipal bonds and fancy hotel receipts from Los Angeles, will ya?"
"No problem, Pre-Approved. We've got a couple new contractors in today for the work. Dross, Spoke and Bludge Cats are here. They tend to like working Sacramento and Washington D.C., you know. Work picks up around mid-April, I guess. Especially for Bludge," said Hot Air Hamster, counting a pile of thousands. "Sure you wouldn't like some Mexican Pesos with that?"
Feckless the Cat stepped up aside Pre-Approved.
"Maybe next week, Hot Air. That flu bug's got security at the border. Real cops this time," said the cat.
"Oh, I forgot about that. Okay, dollars it is, then. Need some offshore receipts so you can pretend to have paid for things, couple foreclosed homes or something?"
"Yeah, okay. I heard about some cat food conglomerate meeting in the Cayman Islands last week," said Feckless, PUTTING his usual web of lies to market.
"Hey Dross," yelled Hot Air. "Fetch Spoke and Bludge Cats. Got customers!"
Dross and Bludge Cats jumped off their ledges in the back room to approach the counter. There was a silence as they all waited for the last, criminal cat.
"Hold on, hold on. I'm coming," said Spoke, trotting up to the kitty coven of fraud, out of breath. "Been a busy week in Sacramento for me."
"I know, Spoke. You're one of the busiest cats in California," said Bludge. "Nothing works without you standing there."
"You neither, Bludge. Okay, need a couple of phony cop outfits thrown in with that today, Feckless?" asked Dross. "We've got 'em half-off on Wall Street. We're extending the offer another few weeks for Sacramento. California Special. They're hot as, like, illegal weapons in Oakland."
Feckless paused, looking at Pre-Approved. Pre-Approved closed his eyes and swept his elegant, criminal tail over the floor. Feckless turned his head back to Dross the Cat, Hot Air Hamster, and nodded.
"Sure, why not? Phony cop outfits're like passports," said Pre-Approved. "But let's move on this, huh? We need to be back in San Francisco by dinnertime."
-- end --
May 14, 2009
lurene gisee (360) 752-6581