Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Feline fraudsters Cut and Paste Cats needed advertising in the San Francisco Bay Area. Papers that would print anything. How else would they advertise all those phony stocks and bonds for shell companies?
"We need a newspaper that has gullible editors. Let's face it, some of these stocks are hard to sell in New York," said Cut Cat.
"What?" asked Paste Cat.
"Hamas Time Shares Paradise? Gaza Gardens Calamity Coverage? Community Bank of Bin Laden? Who would get mixed up with this trash?" asked Cut Cat. "Last time I saw these companies was in one of those airport vending machines in Chicago. You know, those easy lever boxes real close to the news racks and 'condom convenience centers'?"
"Berkeley Daily Planet," said Paste Cat. "They have to run 'em. Fools bought a bunch of the stock last week in New Jersey."
"Oh, okay," said Cut.
by lurene gisee
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Cut and Paste, lying, scheming felines who were experts at making up identities, falsifying loan documents and spreading phony news in the world's stock markets, were worried.
"Our guy Anvil Dog might start turning down our jobs," said Cut. "He says he found better pay."
"Better pay? Who would hire that thieving dog?" asked Paste.
"The State of California. They say they need applicants who know how to beg," said Cut Cat. "Someone voters can trust."
by Lurene Gisee
July 8, 2009
[Dog pictured is up for adoption at SF SPCA]
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Wednesday, July 1, 2009
"The only thing I couldn't stand while filing more phony papers over at San Francisco's City Hall this morning was all those tastefully-dressed bums. What's with these people? When's this city going to get serious about panhandling?" said Pre-Approved Cat, the furred fraudster wanted by the FBI and multiple foreign governments for his feline financial crimes.
"They are serious, Pre-Approved! City staff didn't know how to beg until June 30, 2009. They're calling all the long-time beggars 'colleagues' now!" said Feckless. #
by lurene gisee
July 1, 2009
cut and paste link to window to hear siren on YouTube below: