Feckless the Cat, wanted in 26 countries for fraud, international theft and bank robbery, decided to make more cash on recent mishaps in Chile. He excitedly told his loyal, criminal companion, Pre-Approved Cat, all the details.
"I got a guy just out of a Mexican prison to do the ads for me on late-night television. We'll make millions!" said Feckless Cat.
"How are these ads running?" asked Pre-Approved Cat, on the run this time for selling phony stocks to various U.S. hedge funds.
"Cat comes on and says, 'I thought my life was over. But then, emerging from the collapsed mine, I opened my weak eyes and saw my wife. She had a new glow I'd never before seen. I ran to her with love and devotion! What beauty was this! Then, she whispered into my unwashed ear, 'My loved one, you do not see things. You see before you the aura of a new light, the miracle of FECKLESS SKIN CREME, on sale now for just $4.39 trillion dollars at the border of Mexico and the United States.'"
"Have you tried this miracle creme, Feckless?" asked Pre-Approved skeptically. "How do you know this will sell?"
"I haven't tried it yet, but I know it will sell. We've got more than a billion Chinese women ordering now!" said Feckless. "We can't lose!"
"...any more than we already have," finished Pre-Approved.
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