Monday, May 16, 2011
FECKLESS CAT AND CRIMINAL FRIENDS INTRODUCE NEW CAT FOODS
Feckless and Pre-Approved Cats, wanted in 26 states for currency fraud and retail theft, decided to manufacture a new brand of canned cat food. Named D.C. CAT, it was supposed to be suited for today's modern cat, whatever his family's income. It appeared on New York store shelves May 16, 2011.
"What's the first variety, Pre-Approved? The one for wealthier felines?" asked Feckless, licking his right paw.
"Savory Salmon Blend," answered Pre-Approved Cat. "Ingredients of fresh, Washington State salmon, vitamins, and fur-enhancing cremes from Northern Europe."
"How about the slightly cheaper variety?"
"Yummy sardines, chicken, canola oils."
"What about the cheap stuff? I am not sure it will sell in some markets," Feckless remarked bluntly.
"Doesn't matter if it will sell. It's gonna be only choice for a lot of cats next week. Ingredients in Chinese for this one. Label reads, 'At this price, your guess as good as mine.'"
"Who buys this crap?" asked Feckless. "What's D.C. CAT stand for?"
"DEBT CEILING CAT. Getting real popular with Democrats right off," answered Pre-Approved.