THE ART OF THE DEAL: NEGOTIATE YOUR VIRGINITY WITH EXPERTS !

"No reasonable offer turned down," read Feckless Criminal Cat's advertisement. (360) 656-6838. Act Now!"

American animal shelters were "overjoyed," newspapers reported. The fun was just starting. Next headlines:

FECKLESS CAT COMPLETES FIRST DEAL IN NEW YORK'S FINEST FINANCIAL DISTRICT HOTEL

Feckless Cat -- criminal and opportunist wanted in 42 states and 36 nations -- stepped out of his posh hotel room, having completed his work, collected payment.

"I would have paid him $900,000," bragged Donald Trump, adjusting his tie.

"I would have done it for $14.99'," said Feckless, licking his fur.



by Lurene Gisee
Oct. 27, 2017


http://bayarealurene.blogspot.com/
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http://fecklesspreapproved.blogspot.com/
http://unbelievableanimalstories.blogspot.com/
http://jerusalem2000.blogspot.com/
http://risksinreporting.blogspot.com/
http://genesisoutline.blogspot.com/
https://theworldofoil.blogspot.com/
https://thinairfascism.blogspot.com/
https://assadinsyria1973.blogspot.com/

CUT AND PASTE CATS SELL HUGE BAGGIES FOR ART THIEVES OF EUROPE SAT, SUN

Fresh, clean, super-big baggies for stolen art on sale Monday. Act fast. Just $399.99 each while supplies last.

Cut and Paste Cats, (360) 752-6581, in Walla Walla or Whatever.

-- end --


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genesisoutline.blogspot

LIBERAL CANDIDATE PASSES BY BELLINGHAM BAR

Liberal candidate walks into downtown Bellingham bar. The election was just days away now.

Bartender asked, "Hi Congressman. What could you possibly want here at a time like this?"

"A passing grade," he answered.

-- end --
by lurene gisee
October 19, 2012
lurenekathleen at yahoo dot com



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FECKLESS CAT AND ALL HIS CRIMINAL FRIENDS WORK DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION

Nearby the Democratic Convention headquarters, workers busily prepared for the September 4, 2012 mob of expected delegates, politicians, and candidates in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Included in that mob would be Feckless Cat, Pre-Approved Cat, Anvil Dog, Cut and Paste Cats, Hot Air Hamster, Slip and Fall Seal, Loan Shark and Oil Spill Cat.

"I don't know why we always get stuck with this job, Feckless. Money is the root of all filth in America today," said Anvil Dog, handing Feckless Cat another couple thousand bucks.

"Sure it's filthy, Anvil. But so is most underwear at the end of the day. That's why we need to launder it at big political events like this," said Feckless, dumping a pile of currency into the wash.

Hot Air Hamster crept over to Feckless, pulled a few quarters out of his pouch. "Here. You're going to need these to keep things going in Charlotte."

Cat and Paste cats worked near the dryers. Loan Shark wanted to fold this year, but even Oil Spill Cat had to get involved with that matter.

"Nobody trusts you to fold that cash, Loan Shark. You're a Republican if I ever saw one," said Oil Spill.

"At least I turn up so everyone can see me, 'Shark. The only buildings you'll work are already under water, 'Shark."

"Hey, at least I know these folks down South. More than I can say for you," replied Loan Shark. "When I come near the area, people know just where I stand: Right in their own neighborhoods."

-- end --
by Lurene Gisee
lurenekathleen at yahoo


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COPYCAT FECKLESS COMPETES WITH KELLOGG; MARKETS NEW CEREAL, DESIGNS BOX FOR "FECKLESS FLAKES: BREAKFAST OF LOSERS"

"What's this latest scam, Feckless Cat?" asked Pre-Approved Cat, both internationally wanted financial criminals for inside trading, stock scams and identity theft. "Why the photo for our new cereal box of grandma being led toward cliff?"

"Because we want the world's kids who couldn't cut it to realize there's a whole new world for them after the Olympics and a breakfast cereal just for them. Our new flakes are for kids not only leading grandma to the cliff, but for puppies that knock on the wrong doors and dead people who bought the wrong plot," said Feckless.

"Kellogg's is leaving the world's future prison residents untapped. Hey! Take it from me! They have money!"

(All photos but the first are from Aug. 13, 2012 Los Angeles Times, reader photos in Strange but True section. First photo from online photo site Fotosearch.) Lurene Gisee lurenekathleen@yahoo.com


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FECKLESS CAT RETURNS FROM TRIP TO LITTER BOX

Pre-Approved Cat, wanted on 3 continents for theft, fraudulent trading and loan sharking, tilted his head in wonder. What was taking Feckless Cat, his criminal feline mentor, so long at the litter box?

Finally, Feckless Cat sauntered into view again. "What were you burying in there today, Feckless? A couple of foreclosed homes or something?"

"No, no, of course not. It was the full faith and credit of the United States," said Feckless, licking his right claw. "Just can't trust our elected officials for this kind of work anymore."



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genesisoutline.blogspot

ANVIL DOG TAKES OVER MATH DEPARTMENTS FOR SEATTLE SCHOOLS

Anvil Dog, who had an IQ of 1, if that even, decided to accept the Seattle School District's job offer and teach math to the city's 5th grade kids. He wanted a post as English teacher, but administrators wisely concluded he was obviously better at math than English; Anvil kept bragging that he was qualified because knew how to pronounce "ruff, ruff" in Russian.

Here were some of his problems that would be on blackboard for first day of class:

Q: If Ms. Jones makes $1,400 per week teaching American history, Mr. Smith makes twice that amount per week teaching art, and Mrs. Carter makes three times the sum Ms. Jones earns, but only twice weekly, how much did Seattle's School District pay their attorneys last May?

Q: If the Seattle lumber mill cut one tree into 4 sections of equal length, and that tree was 20 feet long, how much money did Ms. Jones deposit in her bank account last Wednesday, and on which of the Cayman Islands?

This question for our top math students:

Q: If Mr. Smith makes $40 per hour as a physics and inside trading instructor, what does he get per hour after Seattle contract negotiations if 7,956 toothpicks were divided by .694 cans of beer in Fargo, North Dakota in January of 2004 after he buys a lot of stock for phony cat food companies in Mexico?