LEGENDARY CRIME CAT'S EVIL WORDS: "JUST THINKING OF HOW RICH AND GOOD-LOOKING I AM....HOW 'BOUT WE RIP OFF ANOTHER COUPLE MILLION..."

Feckless and Pre-Approved Cats were waking up with the sun Friday morning on Market Street. Feckless Cat stretched lazily and delicately licked his right paw.

"What's up today?" asked Pre-Approved Cat, laying on his side, yawning. "You seem so pleased with yourself this morning."

"Just thinking of how rich and good-looking I am. How there's always work for cats like us. How about we rip off another couple million dollars this afternoon?" said Feckless.

"Sure. We keep getting away with it," said Pre-Approved. "Still got our bonus coming, too. Real big. I must admit, I still don't get it. We rip Bank of the Next Guy off over and over again. Bonuses bigger every year."

"Don't get too comfy. It won't go on forever," said Feckless.

"Yeah. I know. But there's always government work," said Pre-Approved. "Pay's not as good, but we're sure qualified."

"We are," said Feckless.

--30--

by lurene gisee
September 4, 2009

1st photo Sept. 2009 from SF SPCA site, cat adoption room, 2nd photo unidentified cat sleeping on the job.

ANVIL DOG PLAYS "FETCH" WITH TASTY SUB-PRIME BONE AT GOLDEN GATE PARK

"Get it, boy! Get it now! Good boy, Anvil!" said Pre-Approved Cat with excitement.

"What did you throw for Anvil?" asked Feckless Cat.

"A Sub-Prime Bone. Fool mutt fetched bundles of 'em last week. Should'a seen 'im," said Pre-Approved Cat.

--30--

[photo of dog up for adoption at SF SPCA]


lurene gisee
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CUT AND PASTE CATS STEAL A QUIET MOMENT IN GOLDEN GATE PARK

Cut the Cat, International Feline Fraudster wanted in several European countries for altering financial documents, was finally able to enjoy a quiet picnic in Golden Gate Park with her husband, Paste the Cat.

She unfurled the light, clean picnic blanket to the gentle breeze. She watched the white cloth drift down on the peaceful, purring, furred body of her lying, criminal husband.

Yes, they'd ripped off billions. But they were still cats. Time for a little nap.

"Ah, Paste, sweetheart. The heavenly look of that light sheath over your groomed body. So silent. So undisturbing."

"Indeed. I love picnics, the rich smell of grills burning in the near distance. Reminds me of time we cooked all those books in New York's Central Park," Paste whispered.

"Yeah," said Cut. "The look of couples walking past us in love, not suspecting a thing, taking all the blame later. Wonderful people, weren't they? I loved New York."

-- end --

lurene gisee
August 19, 2009

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FECKLESS AND PRE-APPROVED CATS COUNT STOLEN CURRENCY AT FISHERMAN'S WHARF WITH UNDERWORLD FRIENDS

Feckless and Pre-Approved Cats, international felines of fraud wanted in several European countries for their various phishing schemes, were counting stolen profits.

A Pier 39 sea lion hauled himself on a plank of wood near the fraudsters. The homeless marine blob looked at the criminal cats squarely.

"GET A JOB," yelled Feckless.

-- Aug. 9, 2009 --

by lurene gisee
2004 photo by procktheboat on flickr

CUT AND PASTE FIND NEW VENUE IN BAY AREA FOR PHONY LOAN ADVERTISEMENTS

Feline fraudsters Cut and Paste Cats needed advertising in the San Francisco Bay Area. Papers that would print anything. How else would they advertise all those phony stocks and bonds for shell companies?

"We need a newspaper that has gullible editors. Let's face it, some of these stocks are hard to sell in New York," said Cut Cat.

"What?" asked Paste Cat.

"Hamas Time Shares Paradise? Gaza Gardens Calamity Coverage? Community Bank of Bin Laden? Who would get mixed up with this trash?" asked Cut Cat. "Last time I saw these companies was in one of those airport vending machines in Chicago. You know, those easy lever boxes real close to the news racks and 'condom convenience centers'?"

"Berkeley Daily Planet," said Paste Cat. "They have to run 'em. Fools bought a bunch of the stock last week in New Jersey."

"Oh, okay," said Cut.

--30--

by lurene gisee
Donate $10 to Feckless and Pre-Approved's Blog Today!

ANVIL THE DOG GETS NEW JOB IN LOS ANGELES

Cut and Paste, lying, scheming felines who were experts at making up identities, falsifying loan documents and spreading phony news in the world's stock markets, were worried.

"Our guy Anvil Dog might start turning down our jobs," said Cut. "He says he found better pay."

"Better pay? Who would hire that thieving dog?" asked Paste.

"The State of California. They say they need applicants who know how to beg," said Cut Cat. "Someone voters can trust."

--30--

by Lurene Gisee
360-752-6581
July 8, 2009

[Dog pictured is up for adoption at SF SPCA]

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FECKLESS AND PRE-APPROVED CATS DISCUSS PUBLIC FINANCE ON MARKET STREET

"The only thing I couldn't stand while filing more phony papers over at San Francisco's City Hall this morning was all those tastefully-dressed bums. What's with these people? When's this city going to get serious about panhandling?" said Pre-Approved Cat, the furred fraudster wanted by the FBI and multiple foreign governments for his feline financial crimes.

"They are serious, Pre-Approved! City staff didn't know how to beg until June 30, 2009. They're calling all the long-time beggars 'colleagues' now!" said Feckless. #

by lurene gisee
July 1, 2009
cut and paste link to window to hear siren on YouTube below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOjo2XyWw_M